jars of clutter

So i'm back to that state.
Where i have so much on my mind but I don't know half of what is going on in my mind.

I think I thought that being at home, it'd be easier to open up and to share and to find what's been buried in my heart that's causing me so much grief.

But i went out with one of my good friends yesterday and I just sat there. I didn't know what to say or how to start and I still don't know what I would say if she were right here.

January's almost over and I'm realizing that 8 months isn't as long as I thought it would be.

Meeting up with Pastor Joe on tuesday so hopefully that's a good starting point...