I've been having a lot of dreams lately and I don't always know what they mean (like the boot one), but I think it means I have a lot on my mind (고민 is the perfect word).
Yesterday's KCF was pretty awesome, humbling, fun - i needed it. Not that I've had a tough week or anything but I think living on my own, I'm getting a lot more time to think about myself and God, which can be a good and a bad thing.
KCF had bible study and we studied the chapter that says this:
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
Three things here.
1. Do not worry about my life. I had a dream last night where Dolly was going to her KIN100 class and I had a
huge irresistable urge to go as well (I really want to take this class!) I was in the class and it was a great class but I woke up and panicked because lately, I haven't done so great in school. And then this got me to think about my whole med school dilemma again and it was a mess of panic in my mind.
2. But then I prayed about it and I was pretty much suddenly calmed as if someone was telling me that if I rely on Him, He'll provide because we're that much more important to Him than birds and birds don't even have to prepare food or whatever. Not that I can just sit back and laze away, but that if I do try my hardest (I don't think I have yet to be 100% honest), He will provide.
3. I've never
really enjoyed art. I am trying because its something that's so dear to my brother's and my friends' hearts. It's something I feel like I have to understand but apparently it's something to "feel" in the words of a friend. I saw Salvador Dali's clock painting in grade 6 and didn't really like it. It was a little too... different for me.
I saw it this morning and was really sad. It's October already and I have accomplished a lot of my goals, but I feel like I cheated myself with simple goals that I didn't really have to work for. Time is slipping away, and I really want to change so that I can push myself.
