i want to be a kid again

i haven't been posting lately.
or responding to emails.
or responding to texts.
or phone calls.


I'm not hermitting, i assure you. I'm just really busy with school and just things that keep pounding at my head like a moth pounding on a light bulb.


i'm not stressed. just very anxious. i think i'm feeling very impatient in terms of things that i want to be overwith aren't being done and overwith. my emotions keep getting in the way of things and i like to think i'm not a very emotional person and i think very rationally, but deep down, I know i'm one of the most emotional people in my circle of friends.


i wish i could go back to being like a kid. a friend of mine just recently blogged about how innocence, child likedness, and open mindedess are all interrelated. i realized i've become really jaded.


in today's society our circles of friends, our circles of acquaintances, social networks have grown so much that it's so hard to find someone who wants to care for you as much as you want to care for them. not just in romantic relationships but in friendships as well. it's so hard to put yourself out there and hope that someone will grab on and to pull yourself back together when no one does.


i hate being emotional.