exciting!

i don't talk to my brother much.

there's a saying in korean culture where if you have a grade 12 student in the house, the whole family stops breathing. that's my house. sometimes i feel like i'm too old for him and i feel bad because i want to understand him and be on his side, but sometimes we just don't match.

so then we don't talk.


but today, he came up to me and said he met someone who knew me. backtrack. my brother is doing this government program where you get money to set up your own business and you get to keep all the profits. he had a bbq today and met someone in palliative care. when he mentioned that i was in palliative care and my name, she said she knew me from the Hospice Palliative Care conference i did an oral paper at in April.

i was super excited and i think my brother was too :) so 2 things exciting happened today.

god is good. all the time.

heartbreaking truth and then a vision

when you work with cancer patients, you see all sorts of people cry. it's especially hard when you see large men, who seem like they'd be usually well-composed, cry. that happened today. and when it did, our nurse who is super amazing and one of the greatest nurses I've met said

"how can there be a god? when you see that kind of thing, how can there be a god?"

i know there's a god. i've experienced Him, seen Him work.. but I know that no matter how logical i reason with her, she won't be able to understand..

"man without the Spirit can't understand all that the Bible says (1 Cor 2:14)"

I don't think it's because she CANT understand but more like she chooses not to. And I think that broke my heart - that this person I respected so much would not be able to understand the hope and peace that i've been able to experience.

-----------------

later, i met up with someone i served in Hi-c with. she goes to my school now but i've been a terrible sunbae in not meeting up with her and seeing how she's doing. she's been going through the regular university struggles and is really passionate about getting to know god more.

we then got to talking about how KM and EM at church are like 2 churches and we have so many misconceptions about each other because we don't interact. she shared how she wanted to do more things together and honestly, i was so amazed. i guess i always thought the idea that people genuinely wanted to break down cultural barriers was so... unexpected/uncommon that i never expected god to actually spread that vision.

when i look at this common desire and when i look ahead to see how God's going to use the young people at church, i'm actually REALLY excited. and it reminds me that no matter how eloquent i am, or how logical i am, or how hard i try, everything's in His hands and I just gotta trust Him - even if things don't make sense, or even if things don't seem just.

in memory

one of my favourite patients passed away the other day. he has a daughter the same age as my brother. i think the fact that he wouldn't be able to see his daughter's graduation really hit home for me since my brother's graduating this year too.

up until his last days, this patient was having chemo. and i kind of feel almost angry that he did just because he was clearly declining and obviously needed more social work than curative; i guess it IS mainly up to the family... but still...

in memory...

high tea @ vaughan

I have to admit... i thought high tea would be a lame idea. But it was actually one of the most fun events I've been to in a while. Great food made by men, great laughs with fellow women, and realization of such creative talents we have in the church

AMAZING FOOD


Such creative people/hats


Even a Princess Beatrice look-alike


Pretty flowers


Me and jane had hairband fascinators. I think they were quite nice

summer lessons

life is moving too fast for me to keep up in the blog world. Since i like lists, here's my current life in list form

current initiatives
- red life stage leadership @ church - retreat prep, vball tournament in the works
- online training for undergrad thesis project
- finishing up 2 manuscripts at work. seeing if i can do another
- looking into applications for grad schools (first deadline is nov)
- application to osap
- housing arrangements
- softball (2-0 babyyy)

learned lessons in a few sentences
- what you complain about other people can often be found in yourself
- sometimes god gives you difficult people to become a more patient person; and sometimes he also gives you difficult people to realize what NOT to do
- when you object to a collective decision, you're assuming you are the sole person who is correct
- choose your battles - no one likes a complainer; or a micromanager
- obedience is freedom - so true

still to dos
- amazing race @ church; coffee house @ church
- explore downtown toronto
- buy clothes with more colour (realized most of my wardrobe consists of navy blue, black and grey)