on a path to healing

Okay so I really apologize for the really emo posts but this is seriously what i'm going through right now. After a week of tons of crying and really trying not to go downstairs or, rather, trying to spend more time with myself, I've come to many good conclusions. So.. you know that story of the sower man who sowed seeds and some of them fell on good soil, rocks, bad soil, etc? I feel like right now, everything's falling on rocks.

This week was full of melting and breaking those rocks and hooooh man, it was painful. I think my Christian life has been really stagnant the past couple years and I've buried a lot of hurt that it's starting to catch up to me and I have to deal with it sooner or later. I've decided that I need to go home next term and if the jobmine glitch at school works, I'll be working at Sunnybrook doing research. Even though it pays crap (apparently), I'm excited to be able to go home and back to my home church with people I feel SUPER close with :)

I'm excited to move on and forget certain feelings for certain people =P I'm planning on getting another job (hopefully starbucks!) and I'm excited to finally be at home for an extended period of time.

ON a lighter note, this week's glee episode was CRAAAAZY. Totally unexpected. The girls' rendition of "living on a prayer" by Bon Jovi was amazing as well!

let's get out of this dump

So lately, I've not been feeling myself. Although I'm with people, which i normally LOVE, I no longer get energy from them. I feel constantly anxious, stress, whatever you call it, and I have no idea what it's from.

Today at Creekside, I have to admit I didn't go in with a very open heart and more out of duty? I didn't know one of the songs and they sang "Breathe" which I like to be slow because it gives me a time to meditate while singing. But they sang it too fast and at 830 in the morning, i just gave up trying to think during the song and just sang along. The lady behind me didn't clean out her nose or something because for the whole worship and during the sermon, I could only hear whistling every time she breathed. It was SO distracting.

So i prayed. I prayed that God would tune out everything and just speak to me.

Surprisingly enough, I didn't pay attention to the whistling (which i didn't realize until after) and God really showed that He's still with me even in this slump that I"m having.

Ken Taylor had asked "Are you anxious? Stressed?" Remember that the Holy Spirit lives IN you. I think I have completely forgotten this for the past couple years even. I know that Jesus gives us strength and I ask for it all the time. But I always forget there's someone else even closer to me and that He's willing to intercede for me, be there every step of the way. It was definitely a God-given reminder.

halloween adventure!

so a long time ago, my goal was to have an adventure a day... but clearly that hasn't been happening OR i haven't been very good at recording it.

today after kcf and playing our usual monopoly deal and fish (two of my favourite games currently), a couple of friends and I decided to go get mcdonalds at 3 o'clock in the morning. We got a ride there and right when we arrived, noticed a HUGE amount of people in there. It was when we realized this was the Friday before Halloween and right when all the clubs had closed.

We decided to go for it anyways and after half an hour of waiting amidst drunken yelling and the guys behind us telling us to go faster, we walked out with amazing food hehe. And then we walked to our friend's office in MC on campus and ate and just chatted for a bit. And then being weak as they were, we had to go home because they were falling asleep =P

I currently am up and planning on studying after finishing grey's anatomy because i know that if i sleep, I won't wake up for EMP =P

Enjoy some photos from my phone this term :D


far east movement came to waterloo! I was very pleased


pastor... reverend joe at the bazaar wearing part of a cotton candy machine


hanjin and I switched glasses


rainbow! from my bedroom


ruth studying while talking on the phone


will put a junior chicken in a big mac - gross -_-


it took me forever to finish this puzzle!


jenn made this amazing card tower out of monopoly deal cards


such brotherly love - joe philemon and nelson


sigh their couch is so comfortable

Micah 6:8

or·dain \ȯr-ˈdān\
:to invest officially (as by the laying on of hands) with ministerial or priestly authority

I have to admit that I had just thought this would be another big event and a big stepping stone in the life of our dearest pastor joe. It didn't even occur to me that this was a huge step for our church as whole.

It wasn't until last night, when I was thinking about how far God has brought our church that I realized how amazing and how awesome ordination is. As pastor... Rev. Bae said this morning, "we are now more than dating." A lot of people said tonight's worship was like a wedding and in a way it was; it was committing PJoe to Vaughan and us to supporting him.

To think that in the past what.. six years? Our church has gone through so much and I don't think I'll ever be able to express the heartbreak that our congregation went through. So many tears were spent on everyone's part - tears of anger, frustration, doubt, grief, sadness, you name it. I came into EM when it had no pastor. I knew how hard it was through my parents who were both on LT and search committee - both of whom aged immensely in that time of dryness.

To see people leave was probably the hardest. To see people wanted nourishment and not getting it was heart breaking. To be one of those people and not being able to do anything about it was the worst. Yet God heard our prayers. Today's ordination scripture was from Exodus and talking about how God heard the Israelites' cries and answered with Moses.

God is SO good.

There are a million things to be thankful for but ultimately, I am so thankful for God's faithfulness to Vaughan. He has delivered and grown our church in so many different ways and I don't even know where to start thanking Him.

I'm so excited to see where God is going to take us. As said in Micah 6:8, He's delivered us. All we have to do now, is follow him with humility, love mercy, and act justly.

oh man

my brain is seriously all over the place and it's only the 2nd week of school. I must sadly inform you that I'm going to be taking a 4 month break from blogging.

Seeing as I have probably very little viewers, it won't be a detrimental decision but nevertheless :)

until december,


ciao!